zodiac stereotypes for amateurs

aries: those hardcore personal fitness trainers on TV who need to calm the fuck down.
taurus: loyal and sensitive but REALLY REALLY STUBBORN…blah blah blah also FOOD.
gemini: busy, social, intelligent…would be completely perfect if they weren’t so shallow.
cancer: eats nutella straight from the jar as they watch the notebook and cry.
leo: *beyonce voice* i’mma a diva, i’mma i’mma a diva, i’mma i’mma a diva, i’mma i’mma a diva
virgo: a weird combination of perfectionism, pretentious douchebaggery and indie music.
libra: boring. perfect in every way. let’s face it perfection is boring.
scorpio: fuckin intense motherfuckers who everyone wants to fuck, angry sex addicts who daydream about murder while secretly being massive dorks at the same time.
sagittarius: those ppl who write sad poetry and title it “3am ramblings” and edit love quotes over scenery and have random philosophical outbursts about cheese.
capricorn: devoid of all emotions except for self-pity and GREED.
aquarius: sociology majors with no souls.
pisces: little fishies in teh sea who never harm a soul and are nice 2 everyone but always get fished out and eaten in the end.

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