aries: There’s a song on my album called “Young God” and I hope every single one of u loses your virginity to it.
taurus: Yo calling me “fat” and “chubby” is not going to create a force field around that pizza headed for my mouth. I like the way I look. Get bent.
gemini: The hardest part about having my own place is that I already know what snacks are in the cabinet and don’t get to be surprised 😦
cancer: I know I’m not some hot male rockstar but if you guys wanna throw bras on stage at my shows, feel free I could use some.
leo: Throw some glitter on that bitch. Done.
virgo: I have cotton eyed joe stuck in my head why do things like this happen to me.
libra: DJ HALSEY DROPPIN PC MUSIC IN THE CLUB AND FUCKING EVERYTHING UP CAUSE IDK WHAT IM DOIN
scorpio: I have tied my hair up with my underwear way too many times in my life.
sagittarius: Female. 20. Sad. Selfish. Seeking Time Machine.
capricorn: subtweet: ur not even a joke ur a dad joke.
aquarius: I’d sell my soul for a 10 piece…McNugget.
pisces: I’m so happy I’m not allergic to shellfish cause god I fucking love scallop