ALISTAIR: hell if i had a chip on my shoulder i’d be pretty happy, its a free chip to eat
ANDERS: the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead
AVELINE: hey murderers and killers, knock it off. stop killing and murdering all the time, thats just my opinion though
BETHANY: things are going really well for me now that ive changed the meaning of really well to the opposite of what it means in my head
BLACKWALL: its a white lie, like when a hawk swoops down and takes your meatball sub and you tell people it was your baby so they will help get it back
CARVER: no i didnt drop all this on the floor, i dramatically knocked it out of my own hands because i have something to prove
CASSANDRA: stop being so defensive i am just trying to hit you with weapons
COLE: i’ll go in whatever direction the wind takes me, and if i am too heavy for wind to move me around i will probably just lay down and die here
CULLEN: the “drama” fiasco is over, we learned nothing from it and nothing changed but we can safely say it is over for sure i hear that
DORIAN: hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever
FENRIS: can only assume bad things keep happening to me because of the large amount of hexes and curses put on me by everyone all the time
HAWKE: if you say “how the mighty have fallen” every time you trip over you could probably trick some people into thinking you were mighty
INQUISITOR: “who am i to judge” – the confused judge, the court room just became a comedy room in this all new sitcom, i sentence you to laugh in prison
IRON BULL: haha youd have to stab me with atleast 6 more knives than this, this is so little amount of knives that i am stabbed with
ISABELA: at the end of the day whats important is not the enemies you’ve crushed and killed, it’s the gems, coins, and jewels you got from doing it
JOSEPHINE: you have to be cruel to be kind, no wait the other thing, you have to do nice things. phew, could have caused a lot of problems
LELIANA: blood is just nature’s red water that flys out when you make a mistake. relax and enjoy the experience for once
MERRILL: to everyone who said this would never work, sorry about the huge amount of damage and all of the fires
MORRIGAN: if you want something done you have to just forget about it and move on with your life, theres no point in expecting anything from anyone
OGHREN: the next person who trys to hit my brain out of my skull with a piece of metal will get a big surprise, i function perfectly fine without it
SEBASTIAN: everyone who has betrayed me will deeply regret it or wont be bothered at all or some other option
SERA: some people have all the luck, while others have none of the luck. us with the no luck should band together and burn the ones with the luck
SHALE: so many of my arguments with the pet store bird could have been avoided if we all just took a step back and listened. listend to me for once
SOLAS: i am traveling through space and time refusing to learn anything and being a diva about it
STEN: the nature of man is best described as ‘a thing i dont care about’.
VARRIC: my first act as city mayor will be to take this box of soap powder and spray it with a hose to see what happens
VIVIENNE: it happens to the best of us, the best of us such as me, out of both of us im the best one, probably too great to give you usable advice
WARDEN: if you drag out your slight thoughtful pause eventually the other person will walk away and then you dont have to say anything
WYNNE: some say killing people is the answer to the problems, me personally i think killing people is bad to do because im not a horrible monster
ZEVRAN: have to stop saying “how am i going to kill my way out of this one” everytime there is trouble going on, or at least not out loud