Us: Okay, this time we’re going to develop this relationship slowly. Give it some good, tense buildup.
Us: (two days later)
Us: Well, I guess they’re married now.
“hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my childs teacher” au
“we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not” au
“im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask” au
“we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???” au
“im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???” au
“i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???” au
“we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know” au
“im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit"au
“its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au
“i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party” au
more trash aus i need immediately
“no one can ever know that we met at a weird al concert” au
“i found a turtle in my house and now i feel like its my responsibility to care for it and you are a pet store worker who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and i need your help to take care of timmy yes its name is timmy the turtle” au
“i found you in the park really drunk trying to reenact that scene from the hunger games where peeta is disguised as a rock” au
“i am in the library trying to study for this final i know im going to fail and you are eating chips so goddamn loudly what the hell man” au
“we are both those over competitive parents that get weirdly into our kids soccer team and you are going down my 5 year old is going to kick your 5 year olds ass” au
Moe's Backup Blog 