jillypups:

ayellowbirds:

ronandhermy:

zenosanalytic:

chazkeats:

autisticenjolras:

hades isn’t a badass. hades named his three-headed-guard-of-the-underworld-dog spot. hades whispers to his flowers to make them grow. hades grows fruit. there’s no sun in the underworld.

hades isn’t a badass. stop saying this false thing

#hades probably double knots his laces

In myth, Hades’ most remarked upon traits are 1) how
responsible/reliable he is, 2) how sober-minded he is, 3) how dedicated,
implacable, and long-remembering he is, and 4) how boring and grim
most of the other Olympians think he is to be around. Oh and notably,
that if you play him a song he likes, he’ll basically give you anything
you ask for (though not without conditions.)

Hades is, canonically, a gigantic nerd. If they’d had train sets,
he’d have been the Olympian who collected train sets, meticulously corrected with exacto knife and hobby-paints the errors toy-makers introduced to those train sets, and then endlessly talked about
those train sets to anyone sat next to him at thanksgiving dinner (when
he wasn’t trying to rope them into an interminable discussion about
gardening or divine law, that is.)

He’s the sort of god who frequently handed out punishment like giving
someone a million-piece puzzle where every piece is shaped the same,
that resets itself at the start of every day if you don’t complete it,
and then he keeps the last piece on his person at all times as a secret
private joke for eternity because he finds you personally
distasteful (not even because he’s mad at you or hates you particularly;
he just doesn’t like you as a person)

He is. A. Gigantic. Nerd.

He’s also like one of the only gods who is faithful to his wife. And he listens to her like when she asks for a soul to be released and he’s like “But honey, the rules.” And she just gives him that look and he goes “Yes dear,” and lets the soul go with the easiest freaking instructions ever in a myth. And the human still fucks it up. Not his fault Persephone, not Hades’ fault this time.

Essentially, Hades is sorta like the accountant suburban dad who collects really specific figurines and gets really grumpy when people mess up his lawn. Do you know how hard his wife worked on those roses? He is calling his attorney. Oh wait, he is also an attorney.   

You wanna talk badasses of the underworld, it’s all about the goddesses. Persephone and Styx are two of the most fearsome deities in Greek mythology, to the point that it was decided that Styx (yes, as in the river—she and all other named rivers had manifestations as deities) would be the one in whose name the gods themselves swear oaths, where mortals swear in the name of other gods. And one story goes that when a nymph tried to seduce Hades, Persephone curb-stomped her so fiercely that all that was left is the plant that bears the nymph’s name, Mint.

Curb stomp