I had crossed the street today, knowing that there were cars coming

I knew that there was a high chance of one not stopping on time

and I was okay with that

that realization almost scared me

Most would just say ‘omg think of your friends and family, how would they feel?’ and I honestly think it wouldn’t make that huge of an impact on them. they get on just fine without me now, I even bother someone closest to me to the point where he hardly ever wants to see my face or be around me.

idek know what to do or even think about that

I keep flip flopping from being somewhat okay to being 10000000000000000000000000000 miles away from it
I’malsoscaredthatifIstartcryingthatIwon’tbeabletostop
I’vealsodonethedirtbagthingtodoandrenamedoneofthepartiesinvolvedonskype

Idk how long I’ll be able to keep pretending I’m 100% okay and being strong for him, I’m worried that I’m going to break down when he needs me there for him
And just be useless to him

I caved and remade my Conrad Verner blog…

I’ll probably end up on Ellesi and Skylar again too, also probably Zithra…

fuck

MERP, why can’t I just quit you?

OTL

dear boob,

this is day two of this bull shit.

This is the second time you’ve hurt for longer than a day, and I don’t want to have to see a doctor about this =I
they are basically all men and tbh I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with them…

Nothing quite like calling in to work asking why they had called and to tell them you aren’t coming in

and they tell you ‘Oh yeah, we called to give you the day off.’

TWO DAYS OFF IN A ROW, FUCK YEA~

Now to draw my ocs or to work on rp replies…