https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/whatwouldvexahliado/79038804656/tumblr_mcmo2p5gUN1qe14ft?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://whatwouldvexahliado.tumblr.com/post/79038804656/audio_player_iframe/whatwouldvexahliado/tumblr_mcmo2p5gUN1qe14ft?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fwhatwouldvexahliado%2F79038804656%2Ftumblr_mcmo2p5gUN1qe14ft
Tag: nsfw
ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
please
take note
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
why am i reblogging this
As a writer, I genuinely thank you. Thank God for tumblr. Where the hell else am I going to learn this sort of stuff? Not school or my parents, that’s for damn sure. *sighs*
hermetically sealed shame basket
communist dicks
this post is gold

Sailor moon wands!!!
the dildomaker is a pencil sharpener-esque device that shaves an object into the shape of a dingaling.
WHAT.
dont use a carrot or else ull cut urself and cause a hole and that hole causes the air to go up to ur heart and it kill you
it was in 1000 ways to die
What happens if I put my dick in there?
ultra dick or ultra pain
lol @ the hotdog
I think you mean…. Hot Dong ;D
//shot
Russian Ballerina
//remembers the time when I tried to art Zithra back when she was a Quarian OC
//flips table//cries
but wait! there’s more!
(source) (note that source is very nsfw)
I SAID GOOD GODDAMN SON
can we talk about how a guy has 2 penises that work
Hi shit I thought that was a lie. Swear to god if this cock-icorn is straight than god really hates fags.
good news, he’s bisexual
Woke up to see that Bad Dragon is finally selling those itty bitty versions of their toys
THIS IS SO FUCKING SILLY I NEED ALL OF THEM












