not that cup
Tag: omfg
i literally know nothing about roosterteeth or achievement hunters or whatever the fuck this man is from but from now on he’s my role model
- ride the bull
- tease the templar
- check the cheekbones
- twirl the moustache
- scale the wall
- test the chest hair
- play the wildcard
- find the seeker
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
It all makes sense now doesn’t it
My dad credits this as his favorite photo of me.
When I was younger, I was very socially anxious. I hated crowds, hated attention, hated being up on stage. In preschool there was this little Halloween show that we put on, and man, I did not want to do that shit, let me tell you. All those parents watching me sing some stupid song? Nah, that ain’t me.
But I was forced to, and I was pissed about it. My dad was in the audience, taking pictures and enjoying the show. In that moment, I swear, my tiny four year old was pure rage and resentment. I felt the word “fuck” years before I knew what it was.
My dad pointed the camera at me, and I turned, and I looked. I gave him the look that summed up all the anger, all the absolute fury that was brewing inside me. He says that he had never before seen such a perfect depiction of total and complete hatred. In his four year old son.
To this day whenever I get pissed, he calls me “Buzz Lightyear”.
I felt the word “fuck” years before I knew what it was.
I’m gonna eat this rock. The whole rock. Just eat it.
And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!
telepath more like telepathetic
this sounds like something Magneto would say before high fiving Mystique
I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK
ICH WEINE
The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem
THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE
this post is terrifyingly funny when your high.
homohotlips69
Holy shit I am dying from laughter
THEY SAID “GETTING FISTED RIGHT NOW” AND ALL THE OTHER PERSON COULD THINK OF WAS HOMO HOT LIPS
DUDE
There’s a dollar in my g string
THAT IS YOUR D STRING. G IS ALL THE WAY ON MY LEFT.
EXCUSE ME you uncultured swine. That IS my G string. LEFT TO RIGHT IT’S: C G D A ON A CELLO. And if you notice the dollar is wonderfully tucked in my G STRING.
DO NOT DOUBT MY SIX YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.FUCKING VIOLINISTS
THEY’RE NOT CALLED VIOLINISTS THEY’RE CALLED CELLISTS
IT,WAS THE VIOLINIST THAT THOUGHT IT WAS THE WRONG STRING JESUS CHRIST
This is just one massive train wreck
String players can be a bit high-strung.
y’all need to cellout
We all need to calm down before this gets violin-t
